


The Long Way Down

by withthepilot



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-30
Updated: 2010-12-30
Packaged: 2017-10-14 05:41:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/145979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withthepilot/pseuds/withthepilot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim always wanted to talk about it, as if Hikaru didn't know the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Long Way Down

Hikaru had thought it was always about glory with Jim. A part of him still believed Jim had only jumped off that drill to be a hero, the terrifying realization that the worst could and would happen only coming when the parachute failed, when his frantic cries went unheeded for so long, until the last salvageable second.

For his own part, he'd simply held on and said nothing, _nothing_. He wanted to know how this all ended, of course, wanted a chance to say a proper goodbye to his family, but he was ready to go if he had to; Jim was obviously not. It was a quest for greatness gone horribly wrong and the man simply wasn't prepared. As fast as Hikaru's heart beat on the way down, he could feel Jim's beating faster, as if it were racing his to the finish line.

The clock next to the bed flicked over to 01:00, the LCD numbers illuminating the soft ridges of Jim's stomach, which Hikaru could feel but barely see in the dark shadows of the captain's quarters. Jim had asked him to come here, the smallest waver of breath punctuating the request, and Hikaru accepted it as an order; it was easier that way to say yes. He sifted his fingers through the soft curls between Jim's hipbones.

"C'mere," Jim whispered, tracing the lines and dips of Hikaru's back, the inward curve of his spine leading down to his ass. Jim dipped a fingertip inside him, causing him to shudder. "Let me feel you against me."

He went, molding himself to Jim and undulating with him. No racing now, no sprint to the invisible red ribbon; nothing worthy of the history books in the meeting of their warm bodies. Jim determined the destination and Hikaru got them there, his hand moving between their torsos to grasp their hard, leaking cocks, demanding a slow grind and push.

"Couldn't lose you," Jim panted, raising his hips higher. He always wanted to talk about it, constantly rehashing the blurry moments that Hikaru could only remember now as painful wind hitting his ears, blistering friction of his bones rubbing against the unyielding armor of his suit and Jim's strong limbs wrapped around him, holding on.

He didn't want to remember. But just the sight of Jim was a reminder, which meant he'd be reliving the fall every day for years, every time he swiveled in his chair to face his captain on the bridge, every time Jim commed in the middle of the night with a tremor in his voice that Hikaru couldn't resist because it echoed in his own throat. And it was probably the same for Jim, who carried his lingering fears with him wherever he went, who kissed like a man desperate to show someone—Hikaru—his nightmares, his truths.

And he knew the truth about Jim now; he had come to understand the reason he'd jumped, though the angry, aching parts of him struggled to believe it, often wanted to refuse the simplicity of it—this dogged instinct to leap after the fallen. It was what made the reckless rebel beneath him a true captain. That fateful day and every day that followed since, it saved his life.

"Still stupid," he whispered. Jim pulled him down for a hungry mesh of tongues, clacking their teeth together as if to remind them they were alive.

"Smart," he amended, fingers splayed over Hikaru's pulse, the fragile slope of his neck. "You're still here with me."

Hikaru nodded, surrendering his own truth: that this was exactly where he wanted to be, entangled with Jim, whose devastating eyes could reflect either the last minutes of a shrinking planet or the endless expanse of space. Hikaru gazed into them steadily, just as he always did in this moment, throbbing and hot against his guileless, would-be savior, uttering nothing on the long way down.


End file.
